SPOOF

Al Brown was very good at fixing things around the house when they broke. One day he went to another city to do some work there, and his wife was alone in the house. While Mr. Brown was away, one of the faucets on the bathtub broke. Mrs. Brown did not know much about fixing broken faucets, so she telephoned a plumber.

The plumber came to the house that afternoon and fixed the faucet in a few minutes. When he finished, he gave Mrs. Brown his bill for his work.

She looked at it for several seconds and then she said,”Your price are very high, aren’t they? Do you know, the doctor costs less than this when he comes to the house?”

“Yes, I know,” answered the plumber. “I know that very well, because I was a doctor until I was lucky enough to find this job a few months ago.”

1. The text mainly tells us about …..

A.    Al Brown’s visit to another city

B.     the payment of the doctor visit

C.     the broken faucet of Mrs. Brown’s bathtub

D.    the disappointment of Mrs. Brown about the bill given

E.     an unexpected incidents experienced by Mrs. Brown

2. Which of the following sentences is TRUE according to the text?

A.    The plumber was smart.

B.     Al Brown went to the village to work.

C.     The plumber charged Mrs. Brown cheaply.

D.    Mrs. Brown was skillful in fixing broken faucets.

E.     Mrs. Brown called Mr. Brown to fix the broken faucet.

3. “The plumber came to the house that afternoon.” (par. 2)

The word “plumber” means someone who is skillful in …..

A.    making handicraft

B.     repairing vehicles

C.     operating computers

D.    fixing washing machines

E.     fitting pipes into building

This text is for questions 4 to 8

Connie stopped outside a shoe-store and looked in the window. For some time, she gazed at a pair of fur-lined high boots on display. “They are exactly the boots that I’ve been looking for,” she thought. They were unpriced, so Connie decided to ask how much they cost.

“I’d like to buy a pair of boots like the ones you have in the window,” she asked the attendant. “Could you tell me how much they are, please?”

As the price was reasonable, Connie decided to try a pair on. The attendant asked her to sit down and brought a pair. While she was helping Connie to put them on, she kept looking at Connie’s stockings. Connie was wearing a pair of stockings made of fine white lace.

“Excuse my asking,” the attendant said at last,”but where did you get those stockings? We’ve been trying to get stockings like these for some time. They’re the very latest fashion and many women want to have them.”

“They are pretty, aren’t they?” Connie said. “My grandmother gave them to me. She wore them when she was young.”

4. Looking at the boots in the window, Connie decided to …..

A.    know the price

B.     stop outside

C.     look for them

D.    buy them

E.     gaze at them

5. What is Connie’s stockings made of?

A.    fine black lace

B.     white leather

C.     brown velvet

D.    white lace

E.     fine white embroidery

6. They were unpriced. (par. 1)

The word “unpriced” means …..

A.    very valuable

B.     very expensive

C.     fixed price

D.    can’t be bargained

E.     the price isn’t stated

7. “I’d like to buy …..” she asked the attendant. (par. 2)

The synonym of “the attendant” is …..

A.    the owner

B.     the buyer

C.     the shopkeeper

D.    the trader

E.     the customer

8. “Could you tell me how much they are, please?” (par. 2)

The word “they” refers to …..

A.    the shoes

B.     the boots

C.     the stockings

D.    the prices

E.     the shoe-store

This text is for questions …..

Professor Carter visited Mr. and Mrs. Crockett on the other side of town. After a good dinner and a game of cards, he said,”I’m going to walk home now.”

But Mrs. Crockett looked out of the window and said,”It’s raining outside. Please stay here tonight.”

She went and prepared the guest room for him. After a few minutes, she came back to the living room, but the professor was not there.

Mr. and Mrs. Crockett waited for more than 30 minutes, and then they started to go to bed. But then somebody knocked at the back door of the house.

It was the professor. He was very wet. Mr. Crockett and his wife were very happy to see him. They said, “You’re here!”

“Yes,” the professor answered. He smile and added, “I went home and got my pajamas.”

This text is for questions …..

Mrs. Streisand was having a lot of trouble with her skin, so she went to her doctor about it. However, the doctor could not find anything wrong with her, so he sent her to the local hospital for some test. The hospital, of course, sent the result of the test direct to Mrs. Streisand’s doctor. The next morning he telephoned her to give her a list of the things that she should not eat.

Mrs. Streisand carefully wrote all the things down on a piece of paper, which she then left beside the telephone while she went out to a ladies’ meeting.

When she got back home two hours later, she found her husband waiting for her. He had a big basket full of packages beside him, and when he saw her, he said, “Hello, sweetheart. I have done all your shopping for you.”

“Done all my shopping?” she asked in surprise. “But how did you know what I wanted?”

“Well, when I got home, I found your shopping list beside the telephone,” answered her husband, “so I went down to the shops and bought everything you had written down.”

Of course. Mrs. Streisand had to tell him that he had bought all the things the doctor did not allow her to eat.

Fixing the Headstone

Once, there were two men walking home after a Halloween party. They decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death, we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”

“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”

Taken from: http://www.dizzyboy.com

1.How many men were walking through the cemetery?

1. Two men
2. Three men
3. Four men
4. Five men
5. Six men

2. What made them shocked when they were walking through the cemetery?

1. The serene of the cemetery
2. The darkness of the cemetery
3. A tap-tap-tapping noise
4. The howling of wolfs
5. A man passing the cemetery in rush.

3. Who did they find in the cemetery?

1. A villager
2. Their friend
3. The guard of the cemetery
4. An old man
5. The maker of a tombstone

4. What did the old man do at that night?

1. He made a tombstone for someone.
2. He corrected his name written on his tombstone.
3. He was just passing through the cemetery.
4. He had just attended a Halloween party.
5. He was just making a devotional visit to a grave.

5. “The old man grumbled”. The word grumble in the sentence is similar in meaning to …

1. smile
2. attract
3. persuade
4. think
5. complain